Headliner
by Niu Shiy-Ue
Summary: The tabloids are printing some 'interesting' things about Seto Kaiba.


Title: Headliner

Author: Niu Shiy-Ue

Rating: PG

Warnings: None

Spoilers: None

Pairings: None

Summary: I was reading 'Expose' by Wingnut, a GW 3x4 fic, and I was thinking, what would Seto have done in that situation? No real plot, just humor.

speaking Hikari to Yami

speaking Yami to Hikari

And to think the day started so innocently. Seto woke up at 5 AM as usual, had his usual cup of coffee and left for the office having no idea at all the hell he was about to experience.

At 5:45 Joey had picked up the stack of 'Domino Times' to be delivered that morning. The job sucked, and he hated waking up so early, but he needed the money, and there weren't exactly a lot of high paying jobs for highschoolers, especially those with a background in the gangs. Joey just wished the pick-up office wasn't all the way downtown, by the time he got back to the residential section and finished delivering, he was always late for class. Maybe he could start doing pizza delivery or something in the afternoon instead. He glanced down to take a look at the headline news and-

It's a good thing he was going so slowly, prevented his bike from being totaled when he crashed into the railing. The newspapers, tied down to prevent them from flying off in the wind, were also spared serious damage in the crash. Joey wasn't so lucky. He went head over heels into the canal.

Ryou loved mornings. He watching the sunrise, he liked cooking elaborate breakfasts (even if they were only for himself), he really liked the fact that his yami was still sleeping like a log. True, the Spirit of the Ring was usually wide awake by the time he got to school, but he cherished the hour or so before class that he had completely to himself.

Today's sunrise had been spectacular, pink and gold highlighting pale blue clouds that whisked across the sky. And today he had made himself Belgian waffles with whipped cream and strawberries, a treat to keep up his spirits for the History test he had first period. And he still had about an hour before he had to leave the house. Ryou decided to read the paper while he waited.

He unfolded it and glanced at the headline. Yami?

Mmmph

Yami, wake up, please.

Whaaat?

This will only take a second. Back in Ancient Egypt, who held the Sennen Rod?

The High Priest. Why?

Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm sure. What's this all about? asked the Tomb Robber, waking up a little.

Take a look. Ryou allowed the Spirit of the Ring to 'borrow' his eyes for a moment. The link between the two of them was even stronger than that between the Pharoah and Yuugi, and when the Thief wasn't trying to kill, maim, or otherwise destroy anyone, they actually got along quite well.

What do you think?

Someone's going to be very pissed.

Devlin carefully examined his reflection in the mirror. Sure, he didn't have to get up at 6:45, but he did like to look good. So what if he spent more time in front of the mirror than his entire fanclub combined, the results were worth it.

He finished tying back his hair and began to get ready to leave. Unfortunatly, he wasn't exactly the most organized person, and it always took him at least fifteen minutes before he was able to track down all his books and homework. By the time he was done, he just had time to grab a quick power-bar for breakfast and take a glance at today's stocks. But today something was different.

For a second, Devlin was stunned by the front page. He sat down, then reached for the phone on the wall. He picked it up, reconsidered, then placed it down again. "Nah" he said, thinking aloud. "I can't wait to see how he handles this." He glanced over at the clock. "Shit, I'm going to be late!"

Tea liked to get up just a little earlier than she needed to. The rest of her family tended to get up as late as possible, around 7:45 or so, so by getting up at 7, she had a half hour to stretch her legs without her parents noticing. She may have lost her job at Burger World, but that hadn't put a damper on her dreams. True, real auditioning and working would have to wait until this thing with Yuugi was over, but heck, she needed to put it off for another year anyway, to raise the money to go to New York.

Done with her stretches, she grabbed a glass of orange juice and opened the paper. She skimmed a few of the articles then turned her attention to the front page.

Mr. and Mrs. Gardner were woken a full fifteen minutes early by the sound of shattering glass coming from the kitchen.

Yuugi hated mornings. He was always so tired, the alarm was always so loud, he hated everything about them. The good thing about having a spirit, especially a spirit who liked to wake up with the sun, was that he could do all the packing, eating and running around and Yuugi could just sleep in his soul room until they had to meet Tea. It might have been a little unfair to Yami, but Yami always said it was the least he could do, given the amount of trouble he brought Yuugi. Yuugi had put up a token argument, but easily gave in.

Yami loved mornings. He got up with the sunrise, he played around with the kitchen appliances (had nearly burned down the house once with the toaster), and after he had learned to read, virtually devoured the paper. Grandpa said he went from having a zombie in the morning to a hyperactive ball of rubber. A hyperactive ball of rubber on six servings of expresso with the power to annhilate whatever startled him. Yuugi had a sneaking suspicioun that Yami had accidently sent his Grandpa to the Shadow Realm once in the morning, but never quite had the courage to ask either of them.

Thus, Yuugi was completely surprised to be dragged awake while still at the breakfast table. Now he saw what Grandpa meant. Yami was all but bouncing around the room. Yami, what is it? It's only, yawn 7:15. Tea's not gonna be here for another half-hour. He took a bite of cereal and made a face. Yuck! No wonder Yami was hyper in the morning, this stuff was pure sugar!

Look, look, look!

Look at what?

On the front page!

Yuugi looked. Largest mushroom growing under the state of Minnesota?

No, no, no. At the top.

A few minutes later, Yuugi was coughing violently, having swallowed his cereal the wrong way. Yami tried to help, unfortunately, being intangible, his hands passed right through Yuugi's back.

Mokuba didn't like getting up early. He never grabbed more than some fruit for breakfast, and he packed and set everything out for the day the night before so he didn't have to scramble for anything. He didn't have to walk to school, he had a driver for that, and he carried a brush with him so he could comb out his hair in the car.

When Mokuba woke up at 7:30 that day, he thought it was going to be a pretty average day. Maybe a bit windier than normal, but it didn't look like it was going to rain, and it wasn't either too cold or too hot. But when Roland stopped him just before he got into the limo, he knew something was wrong. "Excuse me, Master Mokuba?"

"Yes, Roland? Is something wrong with my brother?"

"You could say that." Now Mokuba was really worried. "You might want to take a look at this." He handed the paper to Mokuba. Mokuba stared at it for a few seconds. "Does my brother know about this?"

"I don't think so, he left before it was delivered." Mokuba nodded. "Poor big brother."

Seto couldn't understand it. The day had started off normal enough, but as soon as he got to school, he felt that something was wrong. That feeling had only grown worse as the day went on. He was used to being ignored in the high school, he ignored everyone else, including the teachers, and they all eventually realized the futility of trying to get noticed by him. With a few rare exceptions, mostly those dweebs in Yuugi's gang, Seto Kaiba left the world alone, as long as it didn't get in his way, of course.

But today was different. Not only were the students watching and whispering about him, the teachers were too. He tried glaring at the offenders, but it only stopped them temporarily, within minutes they were back to shooting sly glances at him and murmuring. Finally, he decided to ask one of the few people who didn't run away when approached what was going on.

"The only people who won't run screaming if I talk to them are the dweeb squad. The monkey, no, friendship witch, no, the mutt, HELL no. That leaves the albino, Devlin and Yuugi." As luck would have it, Yuugi actually sat just ahead and to the right of him, so he grit his teeth and approached as soon as the lunch bell rang.

"Yuugi"

"K-kaiba!" He noticed the other geeks back away. So much for solidarity.

"Yuugi, do you have any idea what exactly is going on today?"

Yuugi looked like he was going to choke. "Ah, going on? W-what do you mean?"

"Look, I know everyone here is jealous of me, but usually they manage to gnaw thier livers in private."

Now he just looked confused. "What?"

"I mean, what could I have done to deserve this amount of unnecessary attention? Did Pegasus start tampering with my Duel Disk technology again?"

"Look, Moneybags, we ain't got no idea whacha talkin' about 'ere."

"Shut up mutt, I was speaking to your owner."

"Err, Kaiba" Since Yuugi appeared to be going into an apoplectic fit, his friends obviously decided to cover for him. "Have you read the paper today?" asked Tea.

"No. Why?"

"It has an absolutely fascinating article about you on the front page." With that, Bakura grabbed Yuugi's hand and they all took off out of the room.

Seto sat down, and made a mental note to have Roland bring him a copy of the 'Domino Times' when he got to work.

Unfortunatly for Kaiba, he didn't have time to prepare for what was awaiting him at Kaiba Corp.

"Ms. Kaiba, I'm Lorinne Summers from-"

"Ms. Kaiba, I'm from the 'National Enquirer' if you could please give us a-"

"Ms. Kaiba, how have you managed to conceal your gender from the general public for so long?"

"WHAT!!!!"

I don't think I'll continue this, but if someone else wants to write a sequal.

Niu Shiy-Ue

During the Battle City Finals:

"We have a contract with that? Just look at that coat!"

"Geniuses are said to be eccentric, sir."

"Eccentric's one thing. He's a total loony." 


End file.
